Mini-Procrastination

Old Crazy Eye. I call it mini-procrastination, and it is the most evil kind. Right now I probably should be packing, or going to Wal-Mart for provisions for the trek west or something (2 yoke, 4 oxen, and 14 pounds of butter). Except I am still staring at my inbox and my phone. I'm like the guy in Groundhog Day, where every morning I wake up freaked out that I am SO BEHIND because booking is like this: you book one gig, you do a little dance, then you look at the rest of the empty days on the calendar and you slump a little. So even though I just booked a gig for March 2011, and we are discussing plans as far out as May 2011, I am freaking out about July 2010. There is no prolonged joy in this job if you are a perfectionist mini-procrastinator. I say mini-procrastination because it's not like I put this stuff off for weeks or days. I chip away at it and that's what you're supposed to do. You make calls, you email people, you wait. I DID spend most of today thinking that I should be getting around to working (the joys of working at home, I guess). So as the day wore on I convinced myself I was soooo behind, that there were no more gigs ever to be had ever, and that I might as well apply at Starbucks. When I finally sat down, sorted emails, made some calls, checked up on things...I realized that I am where I am supposed to be, can't humanly do more, and am doing ok. But that didn't stop my little mini-procrastination fit from FREAKING ME OUT. Sigh. And I will wake up tomorrow morning and have the same freak out, even though I worked all afternoon, hence I am SO Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. But this is not a complaint blog, no. Because I looove the little fireworks of successes I get every day. And the connections I get to make in my brain between maps and miles and venues and dates. I know a lot of jobs don't give instant gratification like that, and I like me some instant and I like my instant NOW. I just thought I'd remind myself in blog form that IT WILL ALL WORK OUT like it always does so that when I wake up tomorrow I'll chill. Excited to head to Montana! It's hot here.